


A Childhood Fantasy (Part 5)

by nostalgic90s



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 10:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgic90s/pseuds/nostalgic90s
Summary: After a few days, Jerome manages to adjust to his new living arrangements and his new life, a life without Jeremiah in it. It’s difficult at first, because the circus still holds contempt for Jerome. Besides the beatings, everybody else badgered him about things he never did. The attacks on Jeremiah and the animal mutilation, people couldn’t just let that go. They had to remind Jerome every day about it and humiliate him in any way possible. Jerome eventually adjusts to that too and it starts to feel normal.  After the fire incident, he never mentioned Jeremiah again.





	A Childhood Fantasy (Part 5)

**Author's Note:**

> On the first page of our story  
> The future seemed so bright  
> Then this thing turned out so evil  
> I don't know why I'm still surprised  
> Even angels have their wicked schemes  
> And you take that to new extremes  
> But you'll always be my hero  
> Even though you've lost your mind
> 
> -Rhiana (Lyrics make me think of Jerome and Jeremiah)

The workday is painfully slow, probably because Jerome is counting down the hours. Nonetheless, he works diligently to clean the arena under the big tent and feeding the large predators afterward. He also washes all the pots and pans after breakfast and lunch, followed by hauling the trash to a nearby dumpsite. He picks up a few extra chores to busy himself, only because he didn’t want to wait in his trailer and pace around. 

Nightfall approaches and Jerome is scrubbing more pots and pans underneath a separate tent. Zach Valeska flicked his cigarette ashes on Jerome’s hands, but Jerome pays no attention to the rude gesture. He has one thing on his mind and it’s enough to distract him from everything and everyone else. When he’s finished, Jerome rushes to his trailer to shower off and change into a clean set of clothes; a black ‘Nike’ shirt, blue jeans, and his faded grey running shoes as opposed to work boots. He sits at the table and absentmindedly twiddles his thumbs, while constantly glancing at the clock on the kitchen counter. He moved the tiny alarm clock out of the bedroom, seeing as how he didn’t sleep in there anymore. 

It’s 10:55pm when Jerome decides to stand up and exit his trailer. Once outside, he notices how quiet it is….uncanny to say the least. People didn’t retire to their trailers till around midnight but the circus grounds were silent. Jerome figures everyone might have gone to an event or something, sometimes they would pile up in a vehicle and hit up a local bar after a hard day’s worth of work. Jerome takes off walking towards his mother’s trailer; his heart is racing in the meantime. He worries about seeing Zach or Owen, but to his surprise, nobody is guarding the trailer this time. 

Jerome pauses a couple of feet away from the trailer. Part of him can’t believe he’s actually going to see Jeremiah, the other is on the cautious side…. What if mother was still awake? What if Jeremiah changed his mind? What if a strange man answered the door? What if-

An audible roar and hissing noise arose. 

Jerome’s mouth gapes open when he sees fire and how quickly the flames engulfed the trailer.

“JEREMIAH!” Jerome rushes forward but as soon as he reached for the door handle, he recoiled with a painful gasp; the flames barely caressed Jerome’s hand but it was enough to leave an agonizing burn. 

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” A shrill voice cried.

Jerome turns to see his mother, Lila Valeska. “Where’s Jeremiah?! Is he inside the trailer?!” 

Lila screams for help.

Jerome whips around to face the trailer again before peeling his t-shirt off. He wraps the material around his right hand and then moves up to the door. The immense heat makes him squint his eyes but he reaches up anyway to grip the door handle and turn it. Just as Jerome wrenched the door open, his brother stumbled through the flames and out of the entryway. 

Jeremiah unexpectedly collides into his brother and both boys fall onto the ground. Jeremiah is coughing violently and his clothes reek of smoke. The smell of singed hair is lingering on the redhead. 

Jerome is relieved but the panic and worry hasn’t left yet. He reaches up and gently cups his brother’s face with both hands. “Miah are you hurt?!” 

Jeremiah’s coughing died down and he lifts his gaze to focus on Jerome.

A smile curls Jeremiah’s lips.

Jerome’s heart skipped a beat. 

The smile was that of pure amusement but what was more noticeable was the emptiness in Jeremiah’s eyes.

Jerome doesn’t recognize who this person is. 

People are approaching. Men and woman are shouting at each other to get water. 

Jeremiah leans close to press his left cheekbone against Jerome’s left cheekbone. Then he whispers, “It would be so much easier if you hated me.” 

Jerome doesn’t know what to say. 

Zach grabs Jeremiah by his arm and yanks him up to his feet.

Lila approaches and wraps her arms around Jeremiah to hug him, while peppering his head with kisses. “My baby! Are you okay?!” 

With a cruel smile plastered across his lips, Jeremiah stares down at Jerome.

Bewildered, Jerome remains on the ground and stares up at his brother. 

Owen grabs Jerome by his arm and pulls him up to his feet.

Jerome stands but he’s focused on Jeremiah, so much in fact, he doesn’t see Zach curl up his right fist and wind his arm back. 

Zach punches Jerome in the face.

Jerome cries out in pain and he stumbles back to the point where he falls down. Jerome is seeing stars. 

Lila puts an arm around Jeremiah and guides him away, with Zach closely following. 

Jerome turns his head and through blurred vision, he can barely make out Lila, Jeremiah, and Zach….all of which were rushing away. “Miah…..” Jerome’s right cheekbone is throbbing painfully. Confused and brokenhearted, Jerome watches the three disappear. He doesn’t move. Jerome closes his eyes and listens to the chaos around him. Somebody grabbed a plastic hose and was spraying the trailer down. The other circus handlers were throwing bucket loads of water onto the fire. 

Once the fire is put out, Owen walks up to Jerome and kicks him in the ribcage.

Jerome flinches and he rolls over onto his side, clutching at his aching ribs. 

“Unbelievable….” Owen spits on Jerome. 

Jerome feels cold saliva splatter across his shoulder and says nothing. 

“We’re gonna deal with you tomorrow, better start packing Jerome….your kind ain’t welcome here.” Owen kicked dirt onto Jerome before turning and walking away.

“My kind?....” Jerome doesn’t understand. He waits until everyone leaves. When the silence envelops him, Jerome lets out an anguished cry. His eyes burn with tears as he sobbed softly. 

Jeremiah was smart enough to pack a few sets of cloths inside a green backpack, including a couple books; the ones Jerome purchased him. He regretted not being able to save the rest of his collection but he figured he could build it up again in the future. The backpack was tossed outside the trailer in the back when he set the fire. Things went perfectly well, as Jeremiah expected. He timed everything down to the last second, including his request for milk that Lila Valeska gladly fetched. He also informed Owen and Zach that a pipe busted in Paul Cicero’s trailer, prompting both men to go and check on something that wasn’t actually broken. Yes, the plan went well and Jeremiah was whisked away into the night by his mother and uncle Zach. It wasn’t his initial objective, rather he preferred Jerome be sent away, but this was a fortunate option too. 

Jeremiah had his backpack on and he was looking up at an unfamiliar brick building with the words ‘St. Ignatius’ painted in bold black letters. “What is this place?”

Lila keeps her arm around Jeremiah’s shoulders and urges him to move forward and climb the steps to the front entrance. “Your salvation honey~”

‘Salvation, what a joke’, Jeremiah thought to himself. He climbed the steps and entered a long, narrow hallway. 

Lila makes Jeremiah sit down on the few available chairs outside of a big office. Then she enters, along with Zach, to discuss Jeremiah’s living arrangements with the headmaster. 

Jeremiah positions the backpack on his lap and he listens to the conversation through closed doors.

“His brother is goddamn psycho. He tried to kill him a few weeks ago by stabbing him in the neck with a knife.” Lila said.

The headmaster gasped. “Oh my Lord…..”

“And tonight he lit the trailer on fire while Jeremiah was INSIDE.” Zach said. 

The headmaster’s expression is horrified. He looks from Zach and to Lila. “This is very serious…. Will you have the boy institutionalized?”

Lila shrugs, “No he’s a good worker but he just….has this weird obsession with his brother, Jeremiah. I fear if he stays any longer, Jerome will kill him.”

“I understand….” The headmaster nods. “We have an open bed for young Jeremiah but I suggest we change his name and falsify his records. If this Jerome is as dangerous as you say, then we need to clear Jeremiah’s old identity.” 

Jeremiah smiles when he hears the headmaster talking. ‘Clear my old identity…. I like that’, he thought to himself. 

“Great idea.” Zach says. “Man you’re doing us a solid headmaster, thank you.”

“No, thank you.” The headmaster stood up and held out his hand.

Lila shook his hand, followed by Zach.

“I’m well aware of your son’s IQ, he’s extraordinary talented and smart. He’ll fit right in and possibly get adopted out within a couple of months.” The headmaster said, lowering his hand to his side.

“Ya think so? I mean I always knew my baby was smart.” Lila smiles.

The headmaster nodded again. “Oh yes, far more intelligent then he lets on. He’ll be a wonderful addition to our institution. Thank you for bringing him, I’ll see you out.” The headmaster motioned to the door.

Lila and Zach exit the office.

Jeremiah looks up when the two step out. “I’m staying here?”

“Yes, just for a short time. Then you’ll be adopted out.” Lila said before holding her arms out.

Jeremiah inwardly cringes at the gesture but he forces a smile and stands up. He holds out his arms and embraces his mother, trying his best to not gag on the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. 

“Oh my big baby is leaving me~” Lila leans back and kisses Jeremiah’s cheek. “You’ll be safe here….but your name will be changed, including everything else.” 

“I understand.” Jeremiah’s smile grows. “I’ll miss you mother, and you too Uncle Zach. Thank you both for saving me.” 

“Yeah no problem kid.” Zach slaps his hand to Jeremiah’s shoulder.

Lila sniffles and hugs Jeremiah one more time. “I’ll miss you too my love.”

Jeremiah squeezes his mother and plants a kiss on her cheekbone. “Farewell mother.”

“Goodbye Jeremiah, I love you.” Lila steps back.

“Love you too.” Jeremiah said. He smiles and waves to the two as they turn and leave.

The headmaster taps Jeremiah on the shoulder, “This way. I’ll show you to your room.”

Jeremiah nods and he picks up his green backpack. He followed the headmaster up a flight of stairs and down another narrow corridor. 

“It’s a single bedroom, so you won’t have any roommates. I hope that’s alright?” The headmaster opened the door and flicked the lights on.

Jeremiah steps into the room and glances around. The space is small and humble, with a twin-size bed, one dresser, a nightstand, and an oval-shaped mirror. “It’s fine, but do you mind if I take the mirror down?”

The headmaster nods and walks over to the mirror and lifts it up from the wall. “You don’t like mirrors?”

“Religious reasons.” Jeremiah said with a timid smile. 

“Ah, I see. Very well.” The headmaster tucks the mirror under his left arm. “Breakfast is at 8:00am and rollcall is at 7:00am. Wash up and report to the dining area before 7:45am, understood?”

Jeremiah nods. “Yes Sir.”

The headmaster leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Jeremiah sits down on the bed with the backpack in his lap.

It’s perfect.

Jeremiah will never see his brother again. 

Jeremiah’s lips curl into a pleased smile. 

Before the sun rose, Jerome staggered to his trailer. He located some of Paul Cicero’s moonshine, stashed away in a cupboard, and guzzled the bitter alcohol down. It helped with the pain in both his body and his heart. After he climbed the few steps into his trailer, Jerome collapsed on the floor next to the kitchen sink. He laid there and drifted off to sleep; alcohol always made him tired. He was still shirtless, but the t-shirt that was around his hand dropped somewhere on the way. 

The entire circus, both performers and handlers, were holding a meeting under the big tent. The issue at hand: Should Jerome Valeska be allowed to stay?

“I’ll keep him line.” Zach said with a grunt.

The others didn’t question Zach. 

“Where will I live though? That bastard burned my home down…..” Lila said with a pout.

Owen shrugged, “Move in with Jerome.”

“But what if he tries to kill me too?!” Lila shouted.

“He won’t. He was obsessed with Jeremiah, not you. Remember?” Owen rolled his eyes.

“….Hmph, fine.” Lila shrugged. 

In a few hours, Lila managed to pack what little clothes an belongings she could salvage from the burned down trailer. She carried everything over to Jerome’s trailer and went inside. 

Jerome doesn’t stir when he hears someone come in.

“Still prefer the floor to a bed huh? Fuckin’ weirdo.” Lila stepped over Jerome and walked to the back bedroom. “Oh yeah, your brother is gone. You won’t be seeing Jeremiah ever again~” Lila called from the bedroom.

Jerome is numb. He accepts the news without question. “Okay.” 

“I’m moving in with you since you burned my trailer down. You can sleep in the living room but when I have company over, you better find someplace else to squat.” Lila said, she was already unpacking all her belongings. 

After a few days, Jerome manages to adjust to his new living arrangements and his new life, a life without Jeremiah in it. It’s difficult at first, because the circus still holds contempt for Jerome. Besides the beatings, everybody else badgered him about things he never did. The attacks on Jeremiah and the animal mutilation, people couldn’t just let that go. They had to remind Jerome every day about it and humiliate him in any way possible. Jerome eventually adjusts to that too and it starts to feel normal. After the fire incident, he never mentioned Jeremiah again. 

There was, however, one constant reminder that Jerome felt the need to remove. 

Haly’s Circus was all packed up and ready to travel to the next city.

Meanwhile, Jerome found himself by the river with the mirror in his hands. It was a gift that he purchased for Jeremiah on Valentine’s Day; they were both 13 at the time. Jerome made the frame himself and he etched both his and Jeremiah’s initials into it, along with a unique floral pattern. This was the last thing he had that linked him to his brother. Every time Jerome looked at it, he felt a dull ache in his heart. 

Jerome kneels over the river and places the mirror and frame into the water. He stays there and watches it drift away. Jerome doesn’t move, not until the mirror drifts so far down the river that it disappears from sight. 

Jerome hears a horn honking in the distant to signal departure. 

Jerome stands and he stares down in the direction the mirror disappeared. Now he had nothing left of his precious Jeremiah. It would be better that way, or at least that’s what he told himself. Jerome turns and jogs down the hill towards the line of vehicles. 

Every time Jeremiah goes to bed, he can’t help but take out a book and hug it to his chest. It was one of Jerome’s gifts, something Jeremiah couldn’t bear to part with. He knew what he did was wrong…. He regretted hurting his brother but at the same time, he was relieved to finally be free of him. They couldn’t be brothers, not with how the two felt about each other. It was revolting. How could two siblings LOVE each other and do the kinds of things him and Jerome did? 

Even so…. Jeremiah replays the memory of his 15th birthday. He could see Jerome’s smile and the way his eyes light up whenever Jeremiah is around. That sweet, sweet smile. Jeremiah closes his eyes, a content smile playing about his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> The end! At least for 'A Childhood Fantasy'. 
> 
> I hope all of you enjoyed this as much as I did~ 
> 
> Jeremiah...come on, if you hated yourself that much you should've ruined your own life instead of Jerome's life. *Shakes an angry finger* ^_^; But tragedy is as tragedy does. 
> 
> I MIGHT write two additional pieces that showcase Jerome and Jeremiah's life as they grow up, with a few time skips here and there.


End file.
